We tend to be kind to others whereas we fail to give the same courtesy to ourselves. As Christian entrepreneurs, parents, and leaders, we assume a number of roles that can sometimes feel overwhelming.. When we fail or make mistakes, it is easy to get harsh with ourselves, feel guilty, stressed and tired. But what if we have chosen self compassion instead?
The Bible reminds us that God’s grace is abundant, yet many of us fail to apply this grace inwardly. Self compassion is not a lazy or self indulgent act – it is an act of humility, acknowledging that we need God’s love and extending his mercy to ourselves.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. It entails:
- Self kindness – Using positive words rather than insulting to ourselves.
- Common humanity – Realizing that everyone makes mistakes and that failure is part of the learning process.
- Mindfulness – Being aware of your feelings without having to react to them.
Since we are believers, self compassion is in line with God’s command to love our neighbours as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). If we deny ourselves this love, then we are left with nothing to give or offer to others in fullness.
Why Self Compassion is Important for Christians?
God wants us to work hard and to the best of our abilities, but He also wants us to rest and restore. Jesus Himself at one point moved away from the crowd to pray and to replenish His spirit (Luke 5:16). Yet, many of us push ourselves beyond our limits, forgetting that we, too, need care and gentleness.
The absence of self compassion can result in:
- Burnout – Engaging in work without adequate rest wears down the body, mind, and spirit.
- Low self esteem – One should watch out for the negative thoughts that can make one believe that there is no point in God’s having created him or her.
- Disconnection from God – Since we may feel that we are not good enough to come before God, we may turn away from prayer and from God.
When we practice self compassion, we are able to have a better relationship with ourselves and with God and thus be able to live the way that God intends for us to live.
How to Practice Self Compassion in Faith through
- Speaking to Yourself as God Speaks to You
You are loved and accepted by God with gentle and merciful words. He says that you are his workmanship and that you are created for good works (Ephesians 2:10) and that every morning He has new mercies (Lamentations 3:22-23). You should change the negative thinking to the Encouraging Bible Verses:
Instead of thinking “I am failing again,” believe “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Instead of saying, “I am not good enough,” say, “God created me in His image and He created me well” (Psalm 139:14).
- Embrace Rest as a Divine Gift
A majority of people with high levels of achievement tend to associate their value with being productive. But God set a pattern of rest as part of a holy rhythm. The Sabbath is an institution that is meant to teach us that our worth is not in what we do but in who we are in relation to God.
Practical ways to engage in rest:
Setting boundaries – It is OK to say no when you need to without the guilt.
Practice stillness – Some of the ways to practice stillness include; prayer, meditation or just thinking.
Engage in joyful activities – It is okay to engage in activities that are enjoyable to you such as reading, painting or even taking a walk.
- Receive God’s Grace Instead of Trying to Be Perfect
Perfectionism is usually accompanied by fear – fear of failure, fear of being rejected, or fear of not being good enough. But Jesus didn’t call us to be perfect; he called us to faithfulness. Philippians 1:6 tells us that “being who started a good work in you will perform it until the end.” The fact of the matter is that God is working in you, and he is working through you, in your weakness.
- Practice the same grace towards yourself that you practice towards your friends
When a friend is down, you would comfort and encourage him or her. But when you are down, do you criticize yourself? Take care of yourself the way you take care of your friends.
You may want to ask yourself some questions:
- What would I tell a friend who is going through this?
- In this moment, how can I give myself a break?
- What would Jesus say to me in this moment?
- How to Practice Gratitude
An attitude of gratitude helps us to focus on the positive in our lives instead of the negative. Write down three things that you are thankful for each day. It is easier to be gentle with ourselves when we remember the many good things that God has done for us.
Busting the Myths About Self Compassion
Some people do not like the idea of self compassion because they think it is selfish or weak. So, let’s get rid of these myths:
- Myth: “Self compassion is about making excuses.”
- Fact: This is not an excuse but this is a process of change.
- Myth: “If I am too nice to myself, then I will not be able to achieve my goals.”
- Fact: According to research, self compassionate people are more resilient and efficient in their work.
- Myth: “We are to be selfless, not self compassionate.”
- Fact: Jesus said that we should love ourselves in order to love our neighbours (Mark 12:31).
Final Thoughts
It is not a sign of self-indulgence to practise self compassion, it is a sign of understanding who God has created you to be. When you practice self kindness, find God’s grace and let go of the idea of perfection, then you make way for peace and spiritual restoration.
As you keep on walking, remember that practicing self compassion is a process. Each time you decide to show mercy, to rest, and to love rather than to criticize, you are following God’s will.
So, today, take a second. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. And know that the love of God for you is abundant, unwavering and eternal.